failed sleep study...

Isaac's ENT suggested we have a sleep study done and I reluctantly decided to follow through with it. I say reluctantly because I almost cancelled it several times. The truth of the matter is, I already know he doesn't sleep so what's the point. But I thought if nothing else, it would show if his jerking and snoring and restlessness is the cause of his lack of sleep instead of just being calorie intake, which is what everyone else is saying. Well, turns out it was pointless. 

Last Thursday, we packed everything up, I'd gotten Isabella all geared up and excited for a sleepover at my parent's house, and the only thing left to do was give Isaac a suppository. Too much information? Well, it's actually a pretty big part of this story. Isabella's been into hiding things lately. This includes, my mom's honey, which she hid in a corner by the hall closet and they found it a week later after much searching, Isaac's medicine, Isaac's food after I put it on the table and turn around to put his bib on, and last but not least, the box of suppositories. So I hunted and hunted and finally called my mom to see if she could pick some up for me so that I wouldn't have to get both kids out of the car in order to purchase one item. 

By this time I knew that I was going to have to wait until after Isaac's OT appointment to make him poop. So his belly was already full of poop and then he ate a bunch at OT and then we got back in the car and drove to our hang out spot so that we could wait until his sleep study appointment. I picked him up out of his car seat and he threw up all over me...nice. Clearly, he needed to poop and now we both smelled disgusting. Well, after the magic suppository, he pooped four times and lost half of his body weight (just kidding) and was happy as a clam, but I still smelled bad and was looking forward to getting to the sleep study so that I could change into my pajamas. Of course I only brought my grandpa's giant sweat shirt, that I stole, I mean, borrowed, the last time I was in Columbus, so that wouldn't go very well with the rest of my outfit. 

Finally, it was time to head to the sleep study place and as I pulled into a seemingly abandoned parking deck and building, I was starting to feel a little uneasy about the whole thing. Add to that, the shady elevator, and the two police officers who greeted me at the entrance of this deserted Cleveland Clinic building (seriously, you guys need a new location for your sleep study). We headed down a dark hall to a cruddy elevator and were taken to yet another deserted floor, where a man eventually greeted us and took us back to our room. As the tech was getting us situated he asked if Isaac "is a good sleeper." Um, I'm confused, would we be here if he was a good sleeper??? Weird. 

Eventually another tech came in the room and they started to hook Isaac up to a billion electrodes and a couple straps around his chest and then the glow worm thing on his toe (very official name) and apparently, that wasn't all of it because they were then planning to stick this long pronged thing in his nose with a hook that would go in his mouth...yet again, what planet are we on? The last I checked, no child on earth would tolerate such a thing. They assured me that other children let them do this...mmmhmm. They attempted to put it in place while he was awake and quickly said, "we'll come back after he falls asleep." Okay, sure, I'm positive that will work. 

Sure enough, about five minutes after he'd finally fallen asleep, at 11:00 p.m. they came in and tried to put this thing in his nose and mouth. If you think it worked you must live on the same planet as these crazy people. As you can imagine, unless you live on the crazy person planet, Isaac was screaming, thrashing about, arching, and pulling out the wires...exactly what they told me not to let him do. Yeah, that's right, they told me to not let my thirteen month old touch the very colorful and tempting wires. Okay, no problem. 

So I said, "that's enough, we're not doing the nose thing. He's hooked up to all of this other stuff, surely you can get something out of all of that."

Tech girl: "Are you saying you want to end the study?"

Me: "No, I'm saying he's not going to tolerate the thing in his nose and mouth. He needs to nurse and have his pacifier throughout the night, clearly that is not going to work with the nose thing."

Tech girl: "Well, we have to have the nose thing in, otherwise the study is invalidated."

Me: "So you're telling me that will all of this stuff he's hooked up to, the most important part is the nose piece?"

Tech girl: "Yes."

Me: "Well that's ridiculous. We're not doing that. I'll sign whatever consent form you want me to sign but we're not doing that."

Tech girl: "So you're cancelling the study."

Me: "I'm not cancelling the study, I don't want that put in his nose and mouth. What do you want me to sign?"

Tech girl: "Well, we have it on video that you're refusing."

Me: "Okay, fine."

They left and a few minutes later....

Tech girl: "The doctor is on the phone and would like to speak with you."

Me: "Okay, that's fine."

So, I talked with the doctor and ultimately decided we were ending the study. So at midnight they unhooked Isaac and he was a sticky mess and we were kicked out and thankfully escorted to our car by a police officer because this was a very lovely part of Cleveland. 

Seeing Isaac like this was quite unnerving and brought back way too many memories of this....

My main coping mechanism throughout this adventure was to just laugh. And at one point I couldn't stop laughing. Awkwardly enough, this happened while they were hooking Isaac up and wrapping up his head and I was laughing to the point of tears...it was all just too much. 

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Thank you to everyone who decided to participate in the One Thousand Gifts challenge. I'm going to add a page to my blog and share them. 

6. lazy Sunday mornings

7. the silly things Isabella says

8. clean counters

9. Isaac's blue eyes

10. Walter's hand in mine

11. Isaac learning to point