Eucharisteo. A challenge for you and for me...

I think there's a lot of unhappy people in the world. How could there not be--with tornadoes and tsunamis, death of loved ones, medical conditions that can't be beat and that doesn't include the day to day stuff. The stuff that makes you worry about tomorrow when really, tomorrow doesn't even exist. You never know, tomorrow may never happen. When you think of it that way, or at least when I think of it that way, all of this worry seems pointless. And it's definitely getting in the way of living the day that we have. I spend a lot of time thinking about Isaac, planning his next appointment, figuring out where we're going to go from here, gearing up for the next feeding, which may or may not be pleasant. On top of that, I don't think I've had three hours of consecutive sleep since Isaac was born. It's rough. And sometimes I lose perspective. I lose perspective about what I have to be thankful for; I lose perspective about why we have to go to all of this trouble just to feed Isaac; I lose perspective in that I forget that this won't last forever. 

As I mentioned last week, I'm reading a really great book. I literally can't stop thinking about this book and it's changing and enhancing the way that I think about my life and my daily goal to live in the moment. The book is called, One Thousand Gifts: a dare to live fully right where you are by Ann Voskamp. As a photographer, I see life in pictures. It sounds weird, but I'm almost always framing a shot in my head. It's kind of like if you've ever played a video game for one too many hours and then you dream you're in the video game. I've always thought, if only I could travel somewhere really beautiful so that I could take really beautiful pictures. That's crazy! Because I have that here and now, and all I have to do is step out my back door.

I didn't know what reviewers were talking about when they said that a lens made "creamy bokeh", well, I know what bokeh is, but creamy, really? Until I bought a pro lens. This my friends, is creamy...

So back to this book. The author has been through some pretty rough stuff and grieved some heavy losses and she's on a journey of living in the moment and of living a life of thankfulness despite all of the crap that's happened and in turn letting that thankfulness teach you how to get closer to God. C.S. Lewis wrote that "If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad." Bottom line, each one of us has something to be thankful for  

Voscamp writes:

For years, I have pulled the covers up over my head, dreading to begin another day I'd be bound to just wreck. Years, I lie listening to the taunt of names wringing off my interior walls, ones from the past that never drifted far and away: Loser. Mess. Failure. They are signs nailed overhead, nailed through me, naming me. [...] I wake to self hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at the children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough? 

Throughout the following pages she discovers what we need to grasp before we can fully live...

The act of sacrificing thank offerings to God--even for the bread and cup of cost, for cancer and crucifixion--this prepares the way for God to show us His fullest salvation from bitter, anagry, resentful lives and from all sin that estranges us from Him. At the Eucharist, Christ breaks His heart to heal ours--Christ, the complete accomplishment of our salvation. And the miracle eucharisteo never ends: thanksgiving is what precedes the miracle of that salvation being fully worked out in our lives. Thanksgiving--giving thanks in everything--is what prepares the way for salvation's whole restoration. Our salvation in Christ is real, yet the completeness of that salvation is not fully realized in a life until the life realizes the need to give thanks. In everything?

Yes, "in everything". A friend suggested to Voscamp that she make a list of one thousand things she is thankful for. Through this seemingly trivial task, Voskamp learned that the act of writing down the list and savoring the every day that she may have passed up if she weren't making her list, led her to receive God's gifts and drive out discontent. Furthermore, "life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change." 

With all of that said, here's my challenge for you and for me: let's write our own lists of one thousands gifts. I know, it may sound like a lot, but we don't have to do it all at once. I'll share my daily lists in my blog posts and if you want to participate, you can send an email to me, leave a comment on the blog, or a comment on Facebook. I can start a blog page that includes our lists. I have no idea how long it will take but I think it will be fun! 

1. fluffy white clouds

2. dogwood blooms

3. burying my head in Stella's fur

4. isabella's laugh

5. sun rays breaking through the clouds

And what I'm really thankful for at the moment, is that Isaac finally fell asleep. We're at his sleep study right now and in a few minutes come in a stick this thing up his nose and then he'll wake up. What kind of sleep study is that? 

Sweet dreams and happy list making!

Sierra

yep, they just got here, so sleep should end..right about now...