Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Murderer of Fun

I love the movie, Dan in Real Life, and my absolute favorite line from this movie is, "YOU are a MURDERER of LOVE!" This line is shouted at Dan (played by Steve Carell) by his teenage daughter who is experiencing the usual teenager/love angst.

As I've processed and replayed in my mind, a certain episode of my own life in which Isabella told me she "wished she never had a mommy", and didn't like me, I can't help but think, I am a MURDERER of FUN (and LOVE)! How often have you thought the same thing of your own parents. It's basically the definition of parent--murderer of fun; destroyer of fun; revoker (that's not a word, but it should be) of fun; the one who depletes fun. That is, until you become a parent, and realize that your own parents, for the most part, were completely reasonable when they seemingly plotted to destroy your fun. On most occasions, they weren't heartless and weren't trying (especially) hard to ruin your life, they were just trying to protect you, or steer you in the right direction. In Isabella's case, I was showing her an example on the board of how to write a word so that all the letters belonging to that particular word are close together, and then, has a noticeable space, informing the reader that they are now reading a new word. Example: Jules cango tothe d    une s. As the reader, I'm sure you appreciate reading, Jules can go to the dunes, instead. I could be wrong.

This morning I saw a book recommendation on Dig This Chick's facebook page. The book is, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to stop yelling and start connecting by Dr. Laura Markham. I found myself in an incredibly calm state when Isabella told me she "wished she never had a mommy". I calmly told her she was unkind, and needed to go to her room until we could talk. Later we resolved the issue, but I'm not always calm, and I certainly yell because it feels like most of what I say during a day falls on deaf ears--five year old kids have a very hard time hearing--don't worry, I've had her hearing checked on more than one occasion.

As I sipped my coffee Saturday morning, I read the introduction to the book, about not yelling. An hour later we went outside, and Isabella, who has yet to understand that when you suggest something, Isaac assumes it will happen instantly. Like any almost three year old, he doesn't have a concept of time, so when someone, say, Isabella, says, "Isaac! Do you want to go to Oma's house?!" He wants to go to Oma's house that minute. I yelled. We were having a happy moment outside, and she planted this idea in his head that we would go to Oma's house, and he had a meltdown, because that wasn't going to happen. Happy moment no longer. I stomped into the house with a screaming Isaac, and complained to Walter, and then we both burst out laughing because I told him I was reading a book about not yelling and I just frickin' yelled! 

I walked the walk of parental shame, and went outside and apologized to Isabella for yelling, and explained, once again, that Isaac does not understand the concept of time.


After a sudden desire to relive my youth, I downloaded Oregon Trail on the iPad. We hunted squirrels, fished, walked off broken legs, arms, and cholera. Isabella said it was the most fun she'd ever had.

Outside, before I yelled. Please note, Isabella's outfit (and she says my nicest outfit is a bathing suit--I really can't trust her fashion judgement), and Isabella cheering for Isaac when he walked across the grass. This morning, as we were playing at catch at 7:30 a.m. and Isaac caught the ball, she said, "Sometimes, he just does such amazing things, that I cry!" They're both amazing little people.

 If you have any questions about strokes, ask Isaac. He studied this flyer for about fifteen minutes.


  1. I started reading that same book about a month ago! Of course I never finished it :P

    We have the same battle with Maya about letter spacing, though it has not yet ended with her telling me she wishes she didn't have a mommy. Mostly when I correct her she says, "but it's ok, right?" which means "I don't have to redo it, right?" and then when I tell her that, no, it's not ok, she falls to the floor in tears and/or covers her book with her hands and gives me the angry eyes. Oh the joys of raising a 5 year old, lol :)

  2. How is the ice cream incentive plan working out?


  3. We had your hearing checked when you were in first grade because the teacher said you couldn't hear. We had you tested and the audiologist said you had perfect hearing. You were using "selective hearing" and only hearing what you wanted to hear. That was hard to tell you that you needed to listen even if you didn't want to listen.

    Wow, what a great Title Murderer of Fun and Love! Being the parents is hard. You get to a point (Murderer of Fun and Love) and you are no longer the popular people in your childs life. It is sad and you hope that when your child gets older and has children that they have a better perspective on the newly acquired title of Murderer of Fun and Love. Welcome to the Club.

    Love to you,

    Mom aka Barbara