Preschool, throw up, and mascara

I have had a horrible headache all day. It's not a migraine, but it's bad enough that I actually enjoy picturing my brain exploding all over the place. I assume after a brain explosion my headache would be gone.

For about a year, the goal has been that Isaac would begin preschool when he turned three. Because he has "special" needs, this label qualifies him for free therapy from the school district, beginning at age three. About three weeks ago, we were forced to end private therapy because the fund we were receiving ran out of money. And as you all know, our insurance does not cover therapy for those who truly need it. Shame on them. So, we have to be creative. Today I mailed out a grant application, and if we receive the grant, it will cover speech therapy for a little while. Also, it should come as no big surprise that we don't have five hundred dollars a week to pay for therapy. It's okay though. Honestly, a break from the therapy routine is somewhat welcome, and we've settled nicely into not having to be anywhere on Wednesday mornings.

So...preschool. Isaac and I went to meet his teacher yesterday, and see the room he will be in. Initial thoughts: the teacher was nice, the kids were nice, the room was a complete disaster, they hadn't received any of the faxes they should have received to complete the PT and OT evaluations...we have to go back two times next week. Oh, and I cried when we got back to our car. I have literally held Isaac for more hours of his life than not held him (I have a really buff left arm), which is not a bad thing, it has been tiring, and annoying at times, but it has just been our life. With that said, I'm having a really hard time thinking that I will be able to leave him and trust someone else with him. It didn't help that one of the kids threw up on the floor and I was imagining all of the disgusting things he would be around...like, other kids, for example. Kids can be pretty gross. After the throw up incident, I considered grabbing Isaac and climbing out a window (the door was blocked by puke).

After the visit, I decided to run a couple errands to clear my head. I needed mascara (very essential item), so we stopped at Macy's, where, I started crying at the make-up counter. It should go without saying that I asked for the long lasting mascara...emotional breakdowns tend to come unannounced, so at least I would be prepared with bold, extended lashes.

All of my friends who have children with special needs tell me that preschool is amazing, and I'm sure it will be, I just have to let all of this sink in.

Isabella took this picture this morning. I was so excited that one of my children actually wanted to be in a picture with me. Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?