Swim 101: What not to do

I do not like swimming pools. They're crowded, loud, it's always hot (duh), I never get a tan, the water is cold, there tends to be an overabundance of people wearing inappropriately fitting swim suits, and water makes me think of people drowning. So basically, I stay away from pools, and lakes (for all of the above reasons and because they're gross), and since I don't really like water in general (aside from its beverage form), I shower as few times as possible throughout the week. Yesterday, Isabella said: From now on, every day I'm going to take a shower like daddy! Note: She did not say, "like mommy". I don't know what my husband's deal is, but I try to conserve the Earth's natural resources. You're welcome, Earth.

Well, I decided it was time to suck it up and take Isabella to swim lessons. This is especially important since I don't want her to drown, and she really does love swimming, so I figured now that she is old enough to take a swim class that does not require that I get in the water, what the heck.

As it turns out, she just started her second swim session, and loves it. This also means that I'm going to have to take her to the pool this summer. Don't worry, I've already started repeating positive swimming pool thoughts to myself on a regular basis.

Swim 101: What not to do

1. Do not forget to bring a hair brush. Not only will your child leave the pool looking like a rat abandoned a nest on top of their head, but your child will say repeatedly over the next eight weeks: "Remember that time you forgot to bring the hair brush."
2. Do not forget to bring underwear. If, by chance this happens to you, avoid a melt-down by talking about how fun it is not to wear underwear. That works out until your child says later in the day, "It was so fun not wearing underwear, that I think I'll never wear them again!"
3. Do not forget to bring a towel. The pool will probably be able to provide one, but you'll have to hear for the next eight weeks, "Remember the time you forgot to bring the hairbrush, and then we forgot to bring underwear, and then you even forgot to bring a towel!" From that point on, inform your child that it is their responsibility to bring these things.
4. DO look at the parents who are lovingly blow drying their child's hair like they are CRAZY!!! Who does that? Not me.
5. DO take full advantage of the fact that your child does not scream when you brush their hair while in a public place. Consider only brushing their hair when in public places.
6. Do not be the parent who forgets the swim session ended, and then realize a little too late that you have to relay this devastating information to your child who has been counting down the days to the next swim class.
7. DO be a totally amazing mother and take your child to the pool anyway, and have your own swim class.
8. Do not forget to sign up for the next swim session, only to realize it's too late and have to beg to have your child added to the list.

We made it on the list, and my fish is back in the water.