Two

I've tried to write Isaac's birthday post a million times in the past few days. It just hasn't worked out. I've scrapped a few drafts and deleted a bunch of pictures because I was having a really bad photography day on his birthday and couldn't get it together. Oh well. It's not like I don't already have enough written about the kid and obviously there are plenty of pictures from the past year.

I was supposed to write his entry for the 9pminus Yearbook--didn't get that done. It's okay, next year may be a better year to do that anyway. I haven't even been able to read the Yearbooks they sent after we got Isaac's diagnosis. The day we got them in the mail I couldn't wait to read stories about other people's children who are like Isaac. But I started, and it was too much, because sometimes it's just way too much to think about. There are random moments when I'm reminded that my kid, isn't like other kids. Like today, at ballet when two little boys were running around, one younger than Isaac, and one half a year older. With that said, I think Isaac will walk by his third birthday.

There is a song by JJ Heller (I hope that link words) that the first time I heard it, I knew the first verse fit Isaac and I perfectly:

You’re different from the way I thought you’d be
But here you are in front of me
So full of light I watch it overflow
A lovely mystery

And I am lost for words
You’re more than I deserve

If you've never listened to her music, you should. I've gone back and forth on whether or not I should include the last part of that quote. When I first heard the song and instantly thought of Isaac, I thought selfishly, "no, we both deserve more--this is not what we deserve." I think on this second birthday, I am lost for words, however cliche that may sound. This past year has been long. Walter said he felt like we should be celebrating his fourth or fifth birthday with everything that has happened in the past year. It's been hard, but I've learned so much along the way and I truly believe that I am a better person because of Isaac. Isaac's feeding therpaist tells me that I am a "bulldog mom". I don't think I really have a choice. If I want things done for Isaac and I want them done correctly, I have to be a pain in the butt! I think any parent of a child with special needs learns quickly that they can't sit back and watch the story unfold. You and your child are the story. And if you want that story to be a good one, you'd better pull it together and get your bossy pants on!

We were really surprised to see that Isaac was excited to open presents...

He is very excited about this truck...

He covers his face when he's really excited, kind of like, I can't believe this amazing thing is happening to me!...

Example: I can't believe this sand table is so amazing!...

Another Example: I can't believe my sister looks so funny when she runs and dives onto the blanket!...

I made a cake. It had a crater in the middle. I tried to crop it out of the picture because it looked so horrible. Isaac loved having us sing Happy Birthday. We ate three pieces of cake and I threw it away. End of story. Obviously Isaac didn't care about the cake, but he did think the candles were pretty amazing.