Partners in Crime

I suppose our only crime has been plugging in our TV in our apartment and discovering that we had cable. Then we plugged in our computer and also borrowed internet service for a year. We justified our borrowing of these service based on the fact that we didn't have any money and were living off of savings and the small income Walter was making from his co-op.

My mom watched the kids for us last Saturday, and when she offered to keep them overnight so that Walter and I could have the entire night to ourselves, at first I was hesitant, and then obviously very excited at the idea of a night of sleep. Oh, and time spent with Walter, of course. We took her up on the offer and had an amazing day going to Walter's friend's wedding and then, as shocking as it sounds, we slept in the same bed, all night. Crazy.

Now that I've taken pictures at a few weddings, it's very interesting to think about how so much time and energy is invested into one day. Especially when no one really prepares for what is to come. Sure, marriage is great, but no one tells you about the sleepless nights after you have kids, and the way you'll both look like crap and you'll be so tired you don't even want to talk to each other. No one tells you that one day, it will feel like the spark is gone, but don't worry, it will come back. Pre-marriage counseling doesn't tell you about the love you'll feel when you see your spouse hold your baby for the first time or the way you'll hold each other when you hear bad news. Or the conversations you'll have in bed, late a night, when you share concerns about your children and the only thing you can do is pray together. Or how you'll laugh together when you land on matchbox cars and books when you finally get to crawl into bed at night. Or how you'll savor quiet moments together, working side by side, as you grow into an even stronger friendship.

We're reading a book called, Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? Here's a quote that everyone in our group really appreciated: "'Marriage is a long walk two people take together. Sometimes the terrain is very interesting, sometimes rather dull. At times the walk is arduous, for both persons or for one. Sometimes the conversation is lively; at other times, there is not much to say. The travelers do not know exactly where they are going, nor when they will arrive.'" (Quote from Kathleen and Thomas Hart)

I'd say our walk over the last sixteen months has been arduous. We've both dealt with the challenges differently. Walter, probably immersing himself in work and distancing himself from what's going on, and true to form, I immerse myself in research and reading, writing, and processing. But I'm far from perfect, because I hide in a shell of depression and bad moods. We're getting to places at different rates, but we're there for each other and we make it work.

I feel like we woke up last weekend and saw each other again, after not seeing for a very long time. And for that, mom, I am very grateful to you for watching the kids.