Saturday, November 16, 2013

Changes and Challenges

This week was hard. Jobs are potentially changing, parenting is presenting new and confusing challenges, my dog keeps shedding clumps of hair, and my family won't stop eating. I guess that sums it up from greatest to least greatest challenges and yes, I'm tired of providing food for everyone. I think a national holiday from eating should replace Valentine's Day, or something. I suppose that's why in my escapist dream last night I took my friend's van off roading and refused to admit to authorities that I'd hit a parked Escalade. I needed to have some crazy fun in a...van, and since I drive just about the cheapest car on the market, I needed to bash into something really pricey.

This morning I read the Introduction to Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead by Brene Brown, I'm looking forward to reading more of this book but today I am thankful for these words from a speech (shared by Brown) Theodore Roosevelt delivered in 1910:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the
man who points out how the strong man
stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could
have done better. 

The credit belongs to the man who is actually 
in the arena, whose face is marred by dust
and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; 
who errs, who comes short again and again, 

because there is no effort without error
and shortcoming; but who does actually
strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, 
the great devotions; who spends himself
in a worthy cause; 

who at the best knows in the end the triumph
of high achievement, and who at the worst, if
he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...."

At the start of this week, I wanted to give up on a lot of things and I wanted to sit and complain to anyone who would listen (thank you to those who did listen to me complain, and for my husband, who said not to give up). Despite feeling discouraged, I'll continue to do my best while putting one foot in front of the other, and pursue what gives me fulfillment. If I continue to fail, I'll know that it is not in vain. 

As for parenting, Brown shared these words, "...the practice of framing mothers and fathers as good or bad is both rampant and corrosive--it turns parenting into a shame minefield. The real questions for parents should be: 'Are you engaged? Are you paying attention?' If so, plan to make lots of mistakes and bad decisions. Imperfect parenting moments turn into gifts as our children watch us try to figure out what went wrong and how we can do better next time. The mandate is not to be perfect and raise happy children. Perfection doesn't exist, and I've found that what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults" (15).

I feel like this is the year of making Isabella unhappy and I am constantly analyzing situations trying to figure out what I am doing wrong and I how I can improve. I am thankful for Brown's words because I can't be perfect in this part of my life or any other. Thanks to some advice from my mom, I am working to make some changes and lay some new ground rules--not necessarily to add to "happiness" but to bring clarity and order to our day.

Moving on...

We had our first snow fall for the year and Isabella exclaimed, "I was MADE for this weather!" She truly was. Over the summer she said all she wanted to do was be naked in the snow. For now we make her wear snow gear.



Isaac even ventured out. This was his first time in the snow and proves that we've come a very long way in working out his sensory issues.




In case you're wondering, the chickens were not at all happy with the snow. They stayed huddled in their coop which gave me plenty of opportunities to talk about how "cooped up" our chickens were--I love that I can make myself laugh.




I should share that the mere fact I even had a dream, shows that I am sleeping better. I haven't had to sleep with Isaac in almost two weeks and his night-wakings are shorter and less frequent. This is either a reprieve from my own impending insanity or a move toward sleep independence. Either way, I'm enjoying every moment of deep sleep.

4 comments:

  1. I love your chicken humor :)

    The picture of Isaac's snowy mitten is my favorite.

    Thank you for the reminder that making our children happy is not the end goal.

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  2. Believe it or not, when I saw the snow on the ground, I thought of you and your chickens!! I thought, hmm, I wonder if those chickens have a space heater in their pen? Do they huddle for warmth?? I feel a little of your parenting pain. Most days I feel as though I'm doing more wrong than right. Try, try again, eh?

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  3. Mom aka Barbara aka GarNovember 18, 2013 at 8:52 AM

    Dear Sierra,

    Being the mom is really hard work. Sometimes you are popular. Sometimes you are not popular at all and you don't know why.
    The mom is the constant, the hub that makes the wheel go around. None of us are perfect at being the mom or any other part of life. We just keep getting up and moving forward and trying our best. If Isabella is an unhappy child this year so be it. Kids say things that hurt our feelings and make us question ourselves. When I see Isabella either in photos or in person which is pretty often I don't see an unhappy child so keep on doing what you are doing. You do it so well.

    Sometimes I think the biggest gift we can give to our children is learning how to cope and practice being resilient. Life isn't always fun, we can't always be happy and we have to learn to deal with it and keep on moving forward. Your children are lucky to have you and Walter as their parents.

    Love to you,

    Mom

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  4. I'm getting a crash course in parenting by being a boss. I now have 19 children who frequently behave like toddlers and middle schoolers. Only a few have reached adulthood and are semi-self-sufficient. All of a sudden I have to juggle being a friend, a mentor, a boss, a leader, a listener, and an employee at the same time. I now ask myself the same questions you pose to yourself about parenting. Good news is that I am much more patient than I expected. Bad news, this hasn't changed my mind about wanting to be a parent LOL.

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