SASHA NY

This morning I walked out to my car to find a nearly flat tire. I knew something was up with one of the tires on the driver side, so thank you, rear tire, for solving the mystery and owning up to being the problem child. I had to get Isaac to his therapy appointments, so I stopped at the gas station to fill the "problem child" up with some air. A Volkswagen GTI zipped in front of me and beat me to the air pump, and I must say, I was a little ticked off in that moment because I can't stand being late. But then, I read the license plate, "SASHA NY". So I had to see who was driving this car. As I watched and waited, in one quick, fluid motion, a woman stepped out of the car and popped open her umbrella like she was Mary Poppins. It was amazing. I was truly impressed with her ability to avoid a single rain drop. She then pranced over to the air pump, holding her umbrella at the perfect height, of course, and pumped up her tire without skipping a beat. She replaced the pump, checked her watch, and with the same ease, closed her umbrella and popped back into her car.

SASHA, you amaze me. You, in your perfect outfit, with your heels, and your perfectly done hair and make-up. Impressive. I wish I could wield an umbrella just like you do. Did you take lessons from Mary Poppins? SASHA has been making me mad all day. I can't stop thinking about her.

If I even had an umbrella (don't feel sorry for me, umbrella's are totally annoying so I don't want one), I'd probably stand outside of my car trying to get it to open, and then I'd probably poke my eye. And then, once I got to the air pump, I'd have to do that thing where you try to hold the umbrella handle like a phone, but in reality, it's too skinny for that, so it ends up falling over and it you get soaking wet anyway...yeah, that would be me. Instead, I choose to get wet. And I'm smarter than SASHA NY. I don't do my hair when it's raining. Silly SASHA.

SASHA NY, I know you probably have matching pajamas. That's totally boring. I bet even your bra and underwear match. It's okay, I'll let that slide. I tend to feel extra special too when my bra and underwear match. You probably wash your hair every day. Don't you think that's a bit excessive? I doubt you've ever had to sit at a sleep study, or go to a billion doctor appointments for your child who has special needs. SASHA NY, you're clueless. But I'll forgive you because you entertained me with your umbrella skills.